Some funny quotes

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You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. Milton Berle.
They all laughed when I said I'd become a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now. Bob Monhouse
The desire to be a politician should ban you for life from ever being one. Billy Connolly
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Anonymous
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. Brooke Shields
"So, where’s the Cannes film festival being held this year?" Christina Aguilera
“Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?” George W. Bush
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. Rodney Dangerfield
It’s easy to quit smoking. I’ve done it hundreds of times. Mark Twain
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. Winston Churchill.
I’m so bad at cooking. I could burn water. anonymous.
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. Woody Allen.
“I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.” Britney Spears.